Is Guilt a Reason to Stay in a Relationship? Marriage Advice

Last week a lady I’m supporting in the in the US said: “Nicola, I want out of this marriage but I feel too guilty to leave.”Many men have shared the same with me. Staying in a relationship because of guilt alone can be a miserable way to live. If this is really all that is keeping a couple and family together. However, I often find that it is used as an excuse to mask someone’s own dependency. As many individuals don’t want to admit to themselves that they really DO want to STAY in the relationship if only some key things would change. So instead of taking a good look at themselves and their power to change things, they procrastinate.

Having worked with hundreds of couples now, I find that guilt associated with leaving, is guilt we carry because we don’t think we have tried hard enough to make the relationship work.

Could this be true for you? Have you invested time and energy into saving it or just merely shared your grievances? Would you regret leaving if you left the relationship now? If yes, what more can you do to make it great? Guilt, like all emotions, can teach us something if we explore where and why it is coming up…

Often it can be linked to our own childhood experiences, past difficult emotional events, and therefore may not have a direct connection with the present issue we are facing. If guilt really is the only thing in your way of leaving, you’d most likely benefit from working on releasing the guilt first, then you would get a clear picture on what to do next…

As if guilt is clouding your judgment it will be hard to think straight about your relationship. It is never a good idea to make a decision out of fear, anger or guilt. Instead, it is best to work through the guilt by taking action. There are several ways to release guilt and other negative emotions that damage our self-esteem, health and relationships. Some use meditation and hypnotherapy, others go for marriage or divorce counselling and coaching and some go it alone; using self-help books and journal writing. If you do not have peace in your heart and mind choose the best way for you, Personally. for best results, I find when I use a combination of all the above negative feelings can go pretty quickly.

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